Work
TROOP REPORT: Bushfire Appeal - Poolrite Equipment
Friday, February 13th, 2009 | 501st, Work | 7 Comments
Date: Friday, 13th February, 2009
Venue: Poolrite Equipment, Queensland.
Time: 0900 - 1500
Mission: Collect Donations for the Victorian Bushfire Appeal, Seek Out Rebels and enforce Imperial Order.
Detail:
The element of surprise was essential for this troop. I snuck into the building via the side entrance, while some Empire sympathisers created a diversion with Krispy Kreme Donuts. It took serious focus to avoid the box of fresh iced donuts…
Once I was suitably attired, I ventured forth to make my presence known to the locals. Many of the employees were shocked and excited to see me - most of whom cheerfully filled my collection tin with generous donations. Those that weren’t so generous were threatened or arrested.
At one point, it seemed the locals needed a little help. I aided their Warehousing and Sales departments, before fielding some IT Support calls. Their ‘Complaints Department’ has never been so efficient - or so quiet…
A few local businesses, upon hearing that I was in the neighbourhood, persuaded me to visit them by offering substantial donations to the cause. I was humbled and, for the first time in my life, left totally speachless.
I didn’t anticipate the overwhelming support and joy that I was met with. I still cant quite believe just how generous the public has been. Some of the folk today have been personally affected by the Bushfires - many of the staff have relatives and family members in the Bushfire area. They shared their stories with me, as they stuffed large amounts of money into my donation tin.
Today, I am proud to be an Australian Trooper. I am proud of the way this community have rallied around those less fortunate. I am proud, humbled, and awed to state that $24,596.80 was put in my tin for the victims of the Victoria Bushfires.
Even as I type out this brief mission report, donations are still being stuffed into my tin.
Trooper Attendance: TK 6232 “Moxxxie”
Injuries:Very few, for a change. Some minor armour bites to the left arm. May be worth shortening the left shoulder bell strap.
Malfunctions: My right hand guard fell off - twice. Will need to reinforce the velcro with some elastic strapping.
Public Incidents: A few vehicles showed their support by flashing their lights and honking their audible notification systems.
Mission Status:
An overwhelming success.
2008 - A Year in Review
Friday, January 2nd, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Well, I’m slightly relieved that I survived 2008. It was a year filled with huge highs, and mega lows. In fact, in the space of 12 months I have completely changed my whole aspect on life. I guess that could be considered a great achievement, but it has come with a significant cost.
The year started fairly well. New Years Eve 2007 kicked off at the Brisbane Town Hall, all frocked up and set to stun. Despite the fact that I was rubbing shoulders with very beautiful people, I felt good about myself and about my little world. In fact, when a certain somebody whispered in my ear that “2008 is going to be our year, baby” I actually believed it. Ha! Funny how some things turn out.
2008 certainly wasn’t “our” year. On April 1st, 2008 the shit officially hit the fan. The legal shit took a few months to sort out, but the fallout included sorting out property and the custody of a furry-child. The whole affair will always be a major landmark in my life, as all at once the shared hopes and dreams came to a clattering full-stop. I’ll never be able to show my gratitude to my family and friends for the way that they all closed ranks around me. There was never a short supply of shoulders to cry on.
However, the best piece of advice came from Papa Bear.
Throughout your life, you need to surround yourself with people that will be there to support you if things get rough. If you’re unlucky enough to fall off a cliff, you want to know that your friends and chosen family will be there to grab hold of you. Whats more, you want to know that when they’re holding you, they will never ever let go.
I have people in my life that will never ever let go. So, 2008 became a cross-roads for me. I decided, quite consciously, to bite off more than I could chew, and then just chew like buggery.
I renovated my kitchen. I landscaped my backyard. I threw my hat into the ring at work, and decided to take on the biggest project of my career.
Everybody told me that it’d never happen, my project would never see the light of day. I half agreed with them, but also kept reminding myself that fortune favors the brave.
“Fuck it, lets just give it a crack and see where it takes me. I’ve got nothing better to do with my time.”
My new kitchen is now finished, my backyard looks great, and the contracts at work are now all signed, and sorted. I have achieved something that I never thought I’d get to see. When everything went through, I couldn’t stop grinning. I threw myself a few high-fives, and called my family to celebrate. It made a nice change to have to call them with good news!
My family and friends have had their own share of bad news this year. My Grandma and Uncle were both diagnosed with cancer. Cancer also took the life of one of my cousins. Without dwelling on the bad news, we’ve also had a lot of good news.
Ava Grace, and Hannah Jean were both born in 2008, and my cousin also got engaged.
The Richmond football team still didn’t make the finals, but we’ll give it another tilt in 2009.
This year, I managed to try a lot of things for the very first time. I played underwater hockey, I got my belly button pierced, I tried (and failed at) internet dating, I completed a PRINCE2 Practitioners course, I helped invent a cocktail, I bartered website work for jewelry, I went on a Thai cooking course, I wore fake eyelashes for the first time, I did Jagermeister shots, I bought my own set of Stormtrooper armour and joined the Fighting 501st.
The 501st was a bit of a lucky find. I actually read a review about a documentary made on the 501st which piqued my curiosity. I had to find out more. So, I went to the main website http://www.501st.com and read all about the work they do for charities and the madcap Starwars love they spread. I was hooked, and I simply had to know more.
I visited the local squad during one of their “troops”. There were about 10 stormtroopers, and biker scouts having fun with the crowd and raising money for the Starlight Foundation. In fact, the local constabulary even got in on the fun and let one of the guys jump on his bike. Even Vader had a bit of a run selling fairground tickets. I decided that this was something worthwhile.
I bought my own set of armour a few weeks later and I’m now very proud to say that I have been officially accepted into the 501st fold. I am TK6232 of the Redbacks Squad, as part of the Terror Australis Garrison. Wookies and Jedi beware!!
So, I now head into 2009 armed with a bunch of hard-won wisdom and a bucketful of optimism. I feel, for the first time in many years, like I have the capacity to do anything I set my mind to. In the last year, I’ve met some amazing people and despite the hardships, had quite a lot of fun. And that, I think, is the secret to happiness.
Looking forward to a wicked and wonderful 2009,
Jac xx
Great day
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 | Good Days, Work | 2 Comments
Today is an amazing day.
After months and months and MONTHS of hard slog, my project got approved. It got APPROVED!!! *airplanes around the room with her shirt over her head*
I feel like I just hit a home-run, swam the English Channel, and kicked the match winning goal all in one day. Which is to say, I feel totally exhilarated and knackered all at once.
This means, of course, that this is only just the beginning. From this point on, my life gets busier and more stressful - but BRING IT ON!
I have this poem on my wall… and today, I feel like a Misfit Troublemaker.
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The Misfits.
The Rebels.
The Troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you cant do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
they push the human race forward.
and while some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.
because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world,
are the ones who do.
Boardroom Bitchface.
Thursday, December 11th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Some people laugh at me when I tell them I’m a bitch. I dont understand this reaction at all. I’m not telling a joke, I’m simply sharing an aspect of my personality. Sure, my Inner Bitch spends 95% of the time sitting in the shadows of my personality just waiting for the chance to leap out of the darkness and attack the unwary.
The people who tell me that I am too nice to be a bitch cant hear my internal monologue. Unless, of course, I’m sitting in a pointless meeting with a bunch of fools who couldn’t find a clue with a roadmap and a compass. Then, my internal monologue becomes less and less internal and more and more sharp and pointy. My Inner Bitch is now feeling rather smug.
I didn’t just end the meeting early, I terminated it and kicked them out of the building.
It’s not me, it’s you. Game over. Off you fuck.
How to piss off your Project Manager: (or, How to turn Jacqui into a snarling Hellcat).
- Send your meeting agenda at 9pm the night before.
- Turn up 10 minutes late
- Take another 10 minutes to set up your shit.
- Realise that your shit doesn’t work, so spend another 10 minutes connecting to a network far, far away to you can demo something.
- Forget that you even set an agenda, and waffle at random for an hour.
- Forget to read the project requirements specifications.
- When asked a question, answer: “I understand where you’re coming from, but No. We cant do that.”
And you know what? My Inner Bitch let out a wild cackle as they scurried out of the building. Meanwhile, they’re wondering where the hell I parked my broomstick. ROCK ON!
My rack.
Monday, November 24th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments
As heard in the office today.
“Hey Jac, Stan really appreciates your rack.”
“I must admit, it really is a great rack - even if I do say so myself.”
“You do know we’re talking about the rack in the Server Room, right?”
“Really? Of course I did….”
Blow me down with a feather!
Monday, September 22nd, 2008 | Good Days, Work | 1 Comment
Some of you may know about my issues that I have at work. Some of you may recall a particular issue involving a personality clash that has been ongoing for well over a year. This was the personality clash that drove me to the point of NEEDING A DONUT to help my anger management issues.
In any case, I almost fell out of my chair this morning when I solved one of my collegues problems and they said thank you. THANK YOU!!!
They thanked me!
Blow me down with a feather - the world has just turned upside down!!
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