Some decisions are difficult to make, not because they’re tough choices, just simply because there doesn’t seem to be enough time or energy to evaluate the options. Decisions like where to go on holiday, what movie to watch, or what colour to paint my nails are often difficult choices to make – but easy to live by. There’s no real risk involved.
Other decisions are incredibly easy to make, despite being incredibly hard and difficult to carry out. Decisions like choosing to keep a mortgage, knowing the financial struggles I’ll face, or going to the doctor to get that lump tested for cancer. Decisions like delivering news that you know is going to cause sadness, anger or may even mean somebody may think less of you. Those are the decisions that can, quite often, change ones life. So, despite being simple decisions to make, it often takes courage and conviction, and sometimes, sheer bullheaded determination to see them through.
I’ve made one or two or twelve of those decisions lately. Each one has been a leap of faith, and had a heart stopping moment of terror – not knowing where the chips will land. Each time, I’m starting to regain that faith in myself. It’s hard, it’s gunna suck, but I’m going to be better for it.