Bucket List #3 – Tough Mudder
So, this weekend, I ticked something off my Bucket List. In fact, I ticked two things.
I completed Tough Mudder, on the Sunshine Coast, along with two friends, Draco and Cutter. Mud Fighting, mandatory. While we were a small team, we made up for it with pure awesome.
As always, I decided to dress up as an idiot, otherwise known as Lara Croft, from Tomb Raider. I figured that was the most appropriate costume I owned, while still allowing me to climb 8′ walls, and crawl through mud without drowning, or suffer from a lethal dose of chafing.
Welcome to the Gun Show. phhhhhht. What a dork!
It was an 18km course, which was the longest distance I’ve run in quite some time. By run, I mean jog, and by jog I mean enthusiastic shuffle. I’m good with endurance, so once I got my shuffle on, I just kept going. The hardest part was dodging the other Mudders, and trying to sidestep the ankle-breaking ridges and potholes.
The highlights of the day included getting down on one knee, and making the Mudder Pledge, along with an obstacle called ‘Ice Enema’. This horrid little beastie simply involved diving into a muddy, dark puddle of water with a layer of ice cubes floating at the top of it. I’m good with cold water, but the temperature drop hit my nervous system like Buster The Crash Test Dummy hits a brick wall.
‘Everest’, the halfpipe from hell, would have been impossible for me. If not for the amazing support of my Team Mudders, and from Random Other Mudders, I would still be sprinting towards the half-pipe, leaping futilely, before sliding on my face back to the ground.
That was tough, but not quite as tough as ‘Electroshock Therapy’ which gave me two massive zaps to my left hand side. 10 million volts, give or take. WHACK. My muscles then spasmed, leaving me with one working leg while trying to run through a muddy electrified field. Running with one leg is a little difficult, and my run looked even more wonky than normal. I essentially performed an undignified and uncontrolled nose dive into a muddy bale of hay. Essentially, I went down like a soggy bag of shit.
But we did it. We got through it. Our little team of stubbon mudders got there in remarkable time, while helping others get through the course. As we declared in the Mudder Oath, the idea behind this event is not about course times, but about teamwork. No Mudder Left Behind, Hoo-Rahhh….
While I dont think it was the toughest thing I’ve ever done (Ever tried walking 40km in Stormtrooper Armour?) it was very fulfilling to get to the end, and open that can of cold beer. VB has never tasted so good.
Showering in the public sprinkler systems, in bra and undies, without feeling in the least bit self conscious alongside 100 other mud-covered survivors was also an experience to remember.
Completing Tough Mudder, then putting on a pair of fluffy slippers? Priceless.