Archive for January, 2009
Troop Report - GAME ON
Friday, January 30th, 2009 | 501st, Troop Reports | No Comments
Date: Friday, 30th December 2009
Venue: ‘Game On!’ Video Game Exhibition at the QLD State Library.
Time: 1800 - 2130
Mission: Maintain Order, Seek Out Rebels and General Intimidation
Detail:
Once again the Redback Squad was called into action to maintain order at the Queensland State Library Video Game Exhibition. From 6.30pm onwards our duty was to patrol the crowded gaming areas ensuring that any uprisings were quickly quashed. Once it became clear that the venue was firmly under the control of Vader’s Fist, the local population quickly accepted their fate and settled into a night of retro-gaming and photo-ops with the troopers.
TD-1535 also operated a collection tin for the Starlight Foundation and succeeded in securing $153.30 in donations – so a hearty WELL DONE For that effort!
At the end of the evening an urgent incoming transmission was received concerning a possible secret Rebel Base right here in Brisbane. A hazardous mission was planned, and any TK who undertook it would probably not survive. Nevertheless, this was a risk Lord Vader was willing to take. So it came to pass that TK Oz_Scout and I valiantly ventured to Kodak Beach at Southbank with an aim to entering the lake to search for a Gungan hidedout.
TK Oz_Scout and I ran reconnaissance along South Back as requested. We encountered quite a number of drunken revellers, although most turned out to be Empire Patriots. I didn’t have my customary pink pauldron on, so there were a few girls who gave me big cuddles thinking I was their Knight in Shining (white) Armour.
Upon finding the Rebel base at Kodak Beach, we recruited some locals to clear the path for our kamakaze style ambush. They cleared the way, and we took it upon ourselves to dive in - quite literally. I detonated on impact, and have sustained a rather large egg shaped bruise on my ol’ noggin. Oz_scout fared slightly better, although we both lost various pieces from our uniform. Those pieces were recovered after some graceless ‘duck diving’.
We then had the long hike back to base wearing wet boots and soaking undergarments. At this stage, I took my boots off and hiked home in socks.
Sadly, we have very limited intelligence (hmmmmm…..!?) as the camera had some slight technical difficulties during the ambush. We do, however, have some rather cool footage of two troopers emerging from Kodak Beach looking like the worlds scariest Lifeguards.
It is my recommendation that another attempt on the rebel base is made - this time with more wranglers and better technological support.
Trooper Attendance: SL Kev Vader, TD TD-1535, TS Sandman, DZ Ms_Kuki + KT Mitchell (Kid Trooper), TK Moxxxie, TI/IG -RENTS-, TK bigmac, TK Reaper, TK Scorp, TK Oz_Scout
Novus Ordo Attendance: TB Zerebin, Sheralyn
Wranglers: Adam L, Ricard C, Lachlan H, Joseph W.
Injuries:Many and varied. Egg shaped bruise on my head. Scratch on my left shoulder. Armour bites on my left knee. Blisters from waterlogged boots.
Malfunctions: Exploded on impact. Hand pieces fell off… forearm pieces fell off… Ammo clips fell off…
Public Incidents: It’s not every day that two idiot stormtroopers jump into Southbank Beach.
Mission Status:
A Successful Mission, with great fundraising for Starlight!
Troop Report: Bunnings, Mt Gravatt
Saturday, January 24th, 2009 | 501st, Troop Reports | No Comments
Venue: Mt Gravatt Bunnings
Time: 1000 hours - 1400 hours
Mission: The Mission was to safeguard the Australia Day celebrations of a local hardware store.
Details: Dredd made contact with the Events Coordinator of Bunnings, who requested our attendance in order to maintain peace and safeguard the days events. We were given an airconditioned changing room, along with a generous supply of provisions to keep us going throughout the day. This included salad sandwiches, chicken kebabs, fairy-floss, and snow cones. Certainly one of the most comfortable changing areas we’ve encountered. Pity about the rest of the troop! The weather was horrendous! It was a balmy 34 degrees outside in the shade, which roughly translated to ambient temperatures around 37 degrees inside the building!!!
We were also joined by Bob the Builder, 4BQ Radio station and some crazy snake person who put a snake inside his mouth to demonstrate how friendly it was. I’m sorry, but I’m not putting anything inside my mouth - no matter how friendly it may appear to be!
In addition to that, Bunnings were offering popcorn and face-painting for the children (old and young, alike).
At one point, we were accused of being Daleks from Dr Who. At that stage, our fearless PR Wizard, Scotty, jumped inside their transmission booth and corrected the error.
Trooper Attendance: Moxxxie, Oz_Scout, Dredd, Gremlin, Neo, Explosion_Ed, Scottsman, BigMac
Wranglers: Calamity, Trinity, Daniel
Special Guests: Visits from Wolf and AdamL.
Injuries: Narrowly avoided dehydration. Minor scuffs on boots. Back of right knee has sustained minor bruising.
Malfunctions: My right thigh piece had a bit of a moment - when both the snap and the velcro lost the will to live. This was probably caused by the stupid level of humidity. Additional snaps and velcro may need to be applied to avoid this in future.
Mission Status: Success
Quotable Quotes:
Lets just stay in aisle 21. There’s a bloody big fan there.
TROOP: Mater Childrens’ Hospital
Monday, January 19th, 2009 | 501st, Troop Reports | No Comments
Photos pending.
Venue: Mater Childrens’ Hospital
Time: 1000 hours - 1200 hours
Mission: The mission was to safeguard the Starlight Express Room for the local constabulary, while they presented the Mater Hospital with a charity cheque.
Details: Oz_Scout made contact with the local Constabulary, who organised the location and the time of the cheque presentation ceremony. Once we arrived and kitted up, Captain Starlight suggested we visit the wards to meet all the current residents. We spent the next hour or so walking around the rooms and meeting various people, introducing ourselves and taking photos. At one point, I stuffed up my TKID - The Squad Leader cant punish me because he buggered his up also.
Trooper Attendance: Moxxxie, Oz_Scout
Wranglers: TK-TEX
Injuries: One slight pinch of my left knee. Nothing to speak of.
Malfunctions: The velcro attaching my ab and butt plates came unstuck, so I had a very attractive black dangley thing hanging off the back of my butt. Thankfully, my fellow trooper identified the malfunction before the public became aware of it.
Public Incidents: The local carpark was a total nightmare.
Mission Status: Success
Quotable Quotes:
“… Have you happened to see any Wookies lately?”
“Yep”
“Really? Where abouts?”
“At my house.”
“At your house? What was he doing there?”
“Well… he’s my Dad.”
o.O
What are you supposed to say to that?? Kids, eh! They’ll say the darnedest things.
TROOP REPORT: Beyond Blue Christmas Lights Display
Tuesday, January 6th, 2009 | 501st | 2 Comments
My first troop of 2009 was a bit of a shambles.
Yes, that’s me in the sexy pink pauldron.
Venue: Beyond Blue Christmas Lights display, Wynnum
Time: 1930 hours - 2100 hours
Mission: The mission was to keep up appearances - to maintain a friendly and cooperative relationship with the public.
Details: Calamity took multiple photos of the troops, both with and without helmets. While claiming her “Mojo” was gone, it appears that these photos are of a high quality despite her modest claims.
Trooper Attendance: Moxxxie, Oz_Scout, Muppet, Goose, Bigmac, Gremlin
Wranglers: Maverick, JK
Injuries: The back of my right knee sustained some bruising because I was dumb enough to attempt a kneeling position. For future troops, I will try and stop “showing off”.
Malfunctions:I forgot my damn armour. JK then had to double-back and drive me home so I could pick it up again. Less said about that the better.
Additionally, the velcro used to attach the straps to the inside of my ab section fell off when armouring up. I managed to keep trooping by tucking the strap underneath my ammo belt. This wasn’t ideal, as whenever I moved I needed to hold onto everything. “Crippled Trooper” springs to mind. To fix this, I’ll need to pick off all the velcro applied with hot glue and use ABS Cement instead.
Public Incidents: JK hit hyperdrive along Wynnum Rd, while trying to get me to the troop on time.
Mission Status: Success
2008 - A Year in Review
Friday, January 2nd, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Well, I’m slightly relieved that I survived 2008. It was a year filled with huge highs, and mega lows. In fact, in the space of 12 months I have completely changed my whole aspect on life. I guess that could be considered a great achievement, but it has come with a significant cost.
The year started fairly well. New Years Eve 2007 kicked off at the Brisbane Town Hall, all frocked up and set to stun. Despite the fact that I was rubbing shoulders with very beautiful people, I felt good about myself and about my little world. In fact, when a certain somebody whispered in my ear that “2008 is going to be our year, baby” I actually believed it. Ha! Funny how some things turn out.
2008 certainly wasn’t “our” year. On April 1st, 2008 the shit officially hit the fan. The legal shit took a few months to sort out, but the fallout included sorting out property and the custody of a furry-child. The whole affair will always be a major landmark in my life, as all at once the shared hopes and dreams came to a clattering full-stop. I’ll never be able to show my gratitude to my family and friends for the way that they all closed ranks around me. There was never a short supply of shoulders to cry on.
However, the best piece of advice came from Papa Bear.
Throughout your life, you need to surround yourself with people that will be there to support you if things get rough. If you’re unlucky enough to fall off a cliff, you want to know that your friends and chosen family will be there to grab hold of you. Whats more, you want to know that when they’re holding you, they will never ever let go.
I have people in my life that will never ever let go. So, 2008 became a cross-roads for me. I decided, quite consciously, to bite off more than I could chew, and then just chew like buggery.
I renovated my kitchen. I landscaped my backyard. I threw my hat into the ring at work, and decided to take on the biggest project of my career.
Everybody told me that it’d never happen, my project would never see the light of day. I half agreed with them, but also kept reminding myself that fortune favors the brave.
“Fuck it, lets just give it a crack and see where it takes me. I’ve got nothing better to do with my time.”
My new kitchen is now finished, my backyard looks great, and the contracts at work are now all signed, and sorted. I have achieved something that I never thought I’d get to see. When everything went through, I couldn’t stop grinning. I threw myself a few high-fives, and called my family to celebrate. It made a nice change to have to call them with good news!
My family and friends have had their own share of bad news this year. My Grandma and Uncle were both diagnosed with cancer. Cancer also took the life of one of my cousins. Without dwelling on the bad news, we’ve also had a lot of good news.
Ava Grace, and Hannah Jean were both born in 2008, and my cousin also got engaged.
The Richmond football team still didn’t make the finals, but we’ll give it another tilt in 2009.
This year, I managed to try a lot of things for the very first time. I played underwater hockey, I got my belly button pierced, I tried (and failed at) internet dating, I completed a PRINCE2 Practitioners course, I helped invent a cocktail, I bartered website work for jewelry, I went on a Thai cooking course, I wore fake eyelashes for the first time, I did Jagermeister shots, I bought my own set of Stormtrooper armour and joined the Fighting 501st.
The 501st was a bit of a lucky find. I actually read a review about a documentary made on the 501st which piqued my curiosity. I had to find out more. So, I went to the main website http://www.501st.com and read all about the work they do for charities and the madcap Starwars love they spread. I was hooked, and I simply had to know more.
I visited the local squad during one of their “troops”. There were about 10 stormtroopers, and biker scouts having fun with the crowd and raising money for the Starlight Foundation. In fact, the local constabulary even got in on the fun and let one of the guys jump on his bike. Even Vader had a bit of a run selling fairground tickets. I decided that this was something worthwhile.
I bought my own set of armour a few weeks later and I’m now very proud to say that I have been officially accepted into the 501st fold. I am TK6232 of the Redbacks Squad, as part of the Terror Australis Garrison. Wookies and Jedi beware!!
So, I now head into 2009 armed with a bunch of hard-won wisdom and a bucketful of optimism. I feel, for the first time in many years, like I have the capacity to do anything I set my mind to. In the last year, I’ve met some amazing people and despite the hardships, had quite a lot of fun. And that, I think, is the secret to happiness.
Looking forward to a wicked and wonderful 2009,
Jac xx
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