Splinters and things

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 | Uncategorized

I like birthdays. I like other people’s birthdays much more than my own, but I’m happy enough to be celebrating my birthday because at some point in time somebody will put a cold drink in my hand and expect me to drink it. Not wanting to disappoint, I will unfailingly oblige.

I obliged alongside JK several times on Friday night, to the point where my young padawan decided that she was tired laughing and drinking and elected instead to pass out next to the bath. At this point, my brain decided to evacuate and took up residence in a jar beside my bed. At this stage, my memory gets really fuzzy. I vaguely recall getting on the internet…

I’m now having flashbacks of moments during the night which explain why I’m still feeling really, really sorry for myself. I’m now living in a perpetual state of mortification, as I’ve remembered that I picked up the phone and drunk-dialled. As if posting on various internet forums wasn’t enough…

I did. I shouldn’t have. I should have taken the battery out of my phone and tossed it over the back fence. Nobody should be allowed to use a phone if they cant stand on their own two feet without swaying, or convert binary numbers to hexadecimal in their heads. Chances are, I could have pulled off that second one, but at no stage during the whole event was I ever capable of negotiating with gravity. I believe at one stage I fell, from a seated position, into my small daisy bush.

What the bloody hell I was doing sitting in the middle of my garden at 2am is anybodys guess.

6am, my alarm goes off. The english language does not poses the words to illustrate the profound sense of wrongness that comes with being so hungover. Additionally, I dont think I’ll ever have an explanation for why the muscles in my legs and arms are so sore….

Happy Birthday to me - perhaps I should phone ahead and cancel next year. I dont think I want to deal with the fallout.

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