What a weird day.

Monday, May 19th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I’ve had quite a few weird days recently; Days where my emotions have totally taken control and swept me along for the ride.

Friday, I was all about the anger again. I was red with rage and ready to tear strips. And I did. I’m not sure that Mr Toad really appreciated the sentiments, but I got a lot off my chest and I felt so much lighter afterwards. I got so angry I was literally shaking in my seat. I did well to keep the coffee in my mug, and not spill any on the person sitting opposite me. By spill, I mean throw. I did well.

On Friday night, bereft of the anger and rage to keep me warm at night, I was left then with just the deep sadness. In fact, I was back to Square #1. I’ve been at Square #1 for a few days, but a trip to the friendly local shrink had me bawling my eyes out and feeling a million times better for the experience. I am, at this stage, an emotionally unstable mess with substantial trust issues.

But that’s a good baseline for improvements. There is only one direction from this point and that direction is pretty positive.

Protected: Not for public consumption - Ask me for the password

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 | Bad Days | Enter your password to view comments

Pain. Endless, enduring Pain.

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 | Idiocy, Insanity | No Comments

I learnt something new about myself last night.

I learnt that I’m somewhat of a masochist. I enjoy inflicting pain upon myself. I don’t like blood, gosh no, and bruising is just so 1990’s darling. No, I’m talking about the type of pain that is incurred by ripping your hair out by the very root.

Yesterday, I marched myself into Myers and bought an Epilady Zen Ultra Fantastico 9000.

I don’t actually know the name of the Weapon of Mass Deforestation, but whatever it is, it needs to be MEGA. This thing is so scary my dog went and locked himself in the bathroom.

If the Russian’s ever want me to talk, all they need to do is show me one of these baby’s and plug the damn thing into the wall.
“Whoa – ok! I’ll talk! I’ll tell you where I hid the diamonds!”

So, you’d think I’d be smart enough not to actually use this device on myself. Surely I could have found some hapless victim to experiment on first, right? I could name a few people right off the top of my head that I’d like to inflict with such pain. Their legs weren’t handy at the time, and considering the dog had taken all four of his legs a very long way away, I was left with only the two legs that were very attached to the rest of me.

“They’ll do!”

I started by fixing the Introduction attachment. I then read the attachment description “For Sensitive Skin – or total Noobs”.

I am not, nor have ever been, a Noob. Dickhead, yes, but not Noob. I then attached the Ultra Scary attachment which looked like it was ready to tackle the Amazon and break every UN convention known to man.

Without engaging the brain I just attached it, switched it on, and pointed it towards my legs.

I wont try to begin to describe all the strange sounds that I created, but to summarise:
“FUUUUUUCK”.

I now have lovely smooth legs. I’m seriously considering total amputation as a very convenient method of hair removal. I’m sure there’d be less pain. Certainly, there’d be less screaming.

Buggeration.

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008 | Idiocy, Insanity | 2 Comments

In a moment of weakness, I signed up to Match.com’s online singles site. I figured I could meet a few like minded people to share a coffee with occasionally - oh how naive.

The whole excersise was doomed from the start. I was so focused on publishing the profile that I really didnt stop to check that all the details were 100% accurate. The day after I published everything I was totally devastated as I didn’t receive even a single ‘wink’. I thought that I’d at least get a wink from the legion of dirty old sleaze bags.

After careful examination, I realised that my profile indicated that I was a:

28 y/o Brisbane women looking for woman.

*blink*
Um?

And I didn’t even get any takers!!! With so little interest, my career as a raving lesbot was cut drastically short. I instantly corrected my mistake, and started getting loads of winks from the afore mentioned sleaze bags.

With exception of one or two people who resembled humans, I didn’t really find anything that took my breath away. I’ve now retired my profile. I’m not convinced that Match.com is the site for me - nor am I totally convinced that the whole concept of online dating is really for me. I’m having fun meeting new people face to face, so I dont really need to PAY for the benefit.

At least I can look back and laugh at my very short stint as Brisbane’s newest Out-of-the-Closet Girl!

Mary Mary, quite contrary. How does your garden grow?

Thursday, May 1st, 2008 | Geeking | 1 Comment

Meet my new garden bed.

I have big plans for this garden bed as I have been inspired to create wonderous amounts of organic vegetables and herbs! Jamie Oliver has a lot to answer for. Of course, it’s not quite finished yet as I’m yet to add compost, and straw and all the goodness that will make my plants just THRIVE!

I also have a few geeky plans for this little project including a unique way of watering the little seedlings as they grow. I’m sure you’re all just as excited as I am about this project (can you at least pretend?), so I’ll keep you all informed about my progress!!

Huzzah!