Archive for 2008
TK6232 reporting for duty
Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Yes, it’s official. I am a nerd.
My 501st Approval email came through yesterday, and I was so giddy that I didn’t have the composure to blog about it. It would have lost something in translation and appeared something like:
OMFG!!!11!!!!! DUUUUDE!!! B!!! *dies*
Which, is to say that it would have been unintelligible dribble. Still, I’m ever so excited about the whole thing and cannot wait to kick start 2009 with a really good Troop.
First Tour of Duty - Mater Hospital
Monday, December 22nd, 2008 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
This weekend I did something pretty cool. Ok, I did a few things that were pretty cool, but one of those involved strapping white ABS plastic to myself and behaving like a lunatic. All in the name of fun.
My first Tour of Duty involved fronting up to the Mater Hospital and trooping around the Childrens wards delivering Star Warsy christmas gifts to the kids. I felt like a total prat and a complete fraud, right up until the first parent came over with the worlds biggest smile and shook my hand.
“Thank you! You guys are amazing! You’ve made my sons day!”
And, right at that point I was sold. I couldn’t stop smiling. It didn’t matter that my armour was digging into my thigh and my hip, it didn’t matter that my belt kept slipping or my shoulder kept flipping - nor did it matter that I had had only 3 hours sleep. I would have stayed in that suit for half a year, and had to be asked twice to get out of costume. I am now a total 501st groupie.
FOR THE EMPIRE! FOR THE MIGHTY 501st! I cant wait to do it again.
Stormtrooper’s Lenses
Friday, December 19th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments
FYI: Stormtroopers have dark tinted lenses in their helmets.
Now, you’d think that when you bought a Stormtrooper helmet, these dark tinted lenses would be pre-installed. Sadly, the tinting was overlooked on my “bucket”, which left me wondering where the hell do Stormtroopers go to buy their Optometrical requirements? I just made up Optometrical.
In any case, where do you purchase Stormtrooper Helmet Lenses from? The answer? eBay. You can buy them from eBay for about $15 a pair. $15! Plus postage! Not acceptable. Not at all.
So, I get my creative-thinking cap on and try and work out another way of doing things.
I grabbed some reject plastic from work to try and cut out the right shape. It all sounded good in theory, until it came time to clean off the permanent marker. I grabbed some solvent, and started cleaning. It cleaned most of the permanent marker off the plastic, but also cleaned most of the plastic off the plastic as well. Epic fail. I needed a Plan B.
So, back to the drawing board. I then spent a good while wandering aimlessly around Bunnings to no avail. No Stormtrooper lenses to be had anywhere in the big green shed. Of course, I did pick up some random hinges, and a few new concepts for making my stormy armour even more wearer-friendly - but nothing to help my lens issue.
Then, sheerly by chance, I wandered past a Window Wonderland outlet which had a brand new window tinting display. There were 20-25 different samples of various shades of tinting and my mind had a little explosion. *bing* went the big lightglobe above my head. Of course! Tinting offcuts!
So, armed with a nice smile, high heels and a tight little skirt, I wandered into the local window tinting shop hoping for some pretty offcuts which I could fashion into lens shaped thingos ready to install in my Stormtrooper helmet. Turns out the high heels and the skirt were totally uncalled for because the dude in their installation shed was actually a dudette. Oh well. She still gave me offcuts to make a million lenses.
Mission Optometrical Status: Total Success.
My TK is going to be the coolest cat in the squad. I now have aviator style lenses.
Great day
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 | Good Days, Work | 2 Comments
Today is an amazing day.
After months and months and MONTHS of hard slog, my project got approved. It got APPROVED!!! *airplanes around the room with her shirt over her head*
I feel like I just hit a home-run, swam the English Channel, and kicked the match winning goal all in one day. Which is to say, I feel totally exhilarated and knackered all at once.
This means, of course, that this is only just the beginning. From this point on, my life gets busier and more stressful - but BRING IT ON!
I have this poem on my wall… and today, I feel like a Misfit Troublemaker.
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The Misfits.
The Rebels.
The Troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you cant do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
they push the human race forward.
and while some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.
because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world,
are the ones who do.
Boardroom Bitchface.
Thursday, December 11th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Some people laugh at me when I tell them I’m a bitch. I dont understand this reaction at all. I’m not telling a joke, I’m simply sharing an aspect of my personality. Sure, my Inner Bitch spends 95% of the time sitting in the shadows of my personality just waiting for the chance to leap out of the darkness and attack the unwary.
The people who tell me that I am too nice to be a bitch cant hear my internal monologue. Unless, of course, I’m sitting in a pointless meeting with a bunch of fools who couldn’t find a clue with a roadmap and a compass. Then, my internal monologue becomes less and less internal and more and more sharp and pointy. My Inner Bitch is now feeling rather smug.
I didn’t just end the meeting early, I terminated it and kicked them out of the building.
It’s not me, it’s you. Game over. Off you fuck.
How to piss off your Project Manager: (or, How to turn Jacqui into a snarling Hellcat).
- Send your meeting agenda at 9pm the night before.
- Turn up 10 minutes late
- Take another 10 minutes to set up your shit.
- Realise that your shit doesn’t work, so spend another 10 minutes connecting to a network far, far away to you can demo something.
- Forget that you even set an agenda, and waffle at random for an hour.
- Forget to read the project requirements specifications.
- When asked a question, answer: “I understand where you’re coming from, but No. We cant do that.”
And you know what? My Inner Bitch let out a wild cackle as they scurried out of the building. Meanwhile, they’re wondering where the hell I parked my broomstick. ROCK ON!
Birthday Fallout
Sunday, December 7th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Some of you out there may be blessed enough to have met the people responsible for my genetic makeup. I love them both dearly, and dont get to spend enough time with them. In any case, last weekend I was blessed enough to spend some time with half of my family tree that I rarely get to see.
So, we spent that time drinking, laughing, eating and walking to the next pub. In fact, so much of the drinking occurred that I felt it necessary to hand in my phone, lest it become an unwilling accomplice to another act of drunk-dialing. That was all well and good, until the phone gave away it’s hiding place by squarking loudly at “fuck, am I hungover or still drunk?” o’clock. I hate that time of the morning. Hate it.
Believe it or not, but my family can drink me under the table without raising a sweat. Sure, my brother in law can only JUST beat me to the punch, but I did witness him having a tender little moment with his herb garden. This, along with many other things, affirms him as one of “us”. He sports the ability to have a full-blooded political negotiation at 4am, and still backs up the next day to buy a coffee for his piss wreck of a sister-in-law at 8am.
*ding ding* Round 2.
I’m finding it harder and harder to recover from a night on the town. I’m not quite sure how I managed three nights in a row - however, I’m sure I’ve done some serious and permanent damage to my liver. Oh well, nasty liver needed punishing anyway.
I then had four days in which to recover, before heading out on the town with the girls for a joint birthday heels-up with the girls. That involved drinking in the rain, watching a comedy show, getting our car towed, inventing new and dangerous ways of swearing at parking officers, and then winding up with a long and winding conversation about boys.
I have another party planned next week, then the weekend after is planned anarchy, Christmas will be huge, NYE even bigger, then it’s the January Party Month… At this point, I need to check myself into Rehab and try and make friends with my internal organs before they change the locks and stop taking my calls.
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