Clarification

Friday, June 29th, 2007 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Just to clarify the prevoius post - No, I’m not going to start reproducing any time soon. That’s a little disaster I plan to have when the world is least expecting it. No frog-spawn.

I mean, how can I possibly have children when they’re going to be referred to as spawn? No. It just wont do. I’m going to have to think of some other witty name for child o’ mine before it arrives on the planet. Beazul-Bub? Has potential. Let me work on that name for a few more years.

No, the whole “jump in with two feet” bullshit was about my ambitions to finish my career as a CEO, rather than Chief Associate Bottle Washer. Why should I get some other mug to pile shit on me, when I’m quite capable of doing it myself?

I’m working on a prototype of something that will take over the world…. Well, perhaps not the world, but maybe something that will keep me entertained long enough to find financial value. A hobby is fine - but if the hobby is going to make me money then I’m a little bit more interested!

Dont die wondering

Thursday, June 28th, 2007 | Good Days, Idiocy, Insanity, Work | No Comments

I’ve spoken before about the personality traits that run through my family. When my mother and father look at me, they dont have to ponder at length on where I get my tenacity, stubborness and smart mouth from. Along with these traits, my rather generous genes have provided me with fair skin (carcinoma, thank you so very bloody much), blue eyes (glaucoma) and strong healthy bones (read: heavy frame and fat ass). I cant wait to have children so I can pass all of this hereditary bullshit on to another generation!

In any case, of all of my brothers and sisters, I am one of the few who hasn’t jumped in with both feet. Am I ready for the plunge?

Ahhh, bugger it! I’ll let you know what the water is like.

Dont die wondering.

Excuses

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 | Good Days | No Comments

As many of you know, I am constantly fighting with my weight. It’s a genetic thing, one that I inherited from my Nana on my Dad’s side.

Nana Ruby told me the story of how her and my Papa met. Her and her sister were all dolled up, crisply pressed and set to stun. My Papa spied these two phillies across the dance hall and told his friend - “Ok mate, you take the tall blond good looking one, and I’ll take the chubby one.” I dont need to detail what happened then, because Nana and Papa Doyle spawned a generation of chubby smartarses. The world hasn’t been the same since.

Recently, I went on the Tony Furguson diet and had a moderate amount of success. At my best, I’d lost 14kgs, which for me was amazing. Since then, I’ve been on holidays, partied quite hard, and undone a lot of my hard work. My arse, that I strived so hard to lose - found me again. I’ve slipped a little bit which means its now time to go back onto the low-carb thing once more.

No spuds, no pasta, no rice, no crusty fresh bread - NO ARSE!

So this is my reward scale - with little goals along the way:

1kg - new nail polish
2kg - Bag of really nice coffee beans
3kg - Breakfast at David’s off Oxford
4kg - Magazine subscription
5kg - New set of gym clothes
6kg - New Perfume
7kg - Pedicure
8kg - Massage!

So, at the end of that I will be fabulous, minus the caboose. I will also be broke, but hey… life is more than a bank balance!

Frogger

Thursday, June 21st, 2007 | Frog Dog, Uncategorized | No Comments

FrogDog goes in to get his yearly vaccination tonight.

I know damn well that Mr Frog and I are going to get the ‘puppy eyes’ and the whole ‘why dont you love me anymore?‘ face all night. We’ll feel like horrible nasty people, and feed him too many treats to compensate. Ahh… dont you love that? Guilt inspired gifts!

I suppose I shouldn’t feel too guilty. Frog Dog has been leaving us nasty little parcels for us to clean up each morning. I wonder if the Vet will think badly of me if I stand in the room and laugh while he turns my dog into a pincushion. I may also need to enquire about the removal of Frog Dog’s furry plums. I think they might be causing us some hassles. It’s rather extreme punishment for crapping in our hallway - but let that be a lesson to all of you out there.

Do not shit on somebody elses floor or you may lose something valuable to you!

Cold.

Thursday, June 21st, 2007 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Frost nips at Jacks nose
All the workers wear mittens
Grey is the day sky

Soldier’s Son 1: Shaman’s Crossing

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 | Reading | No Comments

By Robin Hobb
Robin Hobb has a wonderful way of weaving a realistic world around her characters. This series is no different! The major problem that I have found is that she doesn’t write them quick enough - as soon as I’ve finished one I have that horrible sinking feeling when I realise that I’ve got a long wait until the next one is published!!!