Hermione Granger is older than me!

Friday, November 9th, 2007 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Well I never.

I have always considered myself on the older site of the Harry Potter fandom, but bugger me down - it looks like I’m YOUNGER than Hermione Granger!!

as per this article:

For years it was widely assumed that she was born in September 1980, the same year as Ron and Harry. However, Rowling pointed out that to attend Hogwarts, one must be eleven years old, and Hermione was born on 19 September 1979. Therefore Hermione is nearly 12 when she begins school in September 1991.

That is so cool.
I would have been in Grangers class at school.

Running on a Treadmill

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I am at the stage now, where I’m in the Chronic Denial stage of my Gym Membership. I so totally go to the gym regularly and it’s so totally worth my $70/month because like, I’m so totally uber fit and active and hell and I have abs of steel and my arse fits perfectly into my new jeans. Hmmmm.

I’m so totally struggling to lie to myself on this one.

I went about three weeks ago, and even that was a bit of a blip on the radar.

I am into Gym. I enjoy it when I go, and I get a kick out of being sweaty and healthy and I love that feeling like I’ve burned all those nasty calories, so now there’s a calorie debt that I need to fill by driving straight out of the Gym and straigh through a Macca’s Drive-Through. That feeling of debt is fantastic, until I fall fast asleep in a Carb Coma from too much fake hamburger.

I need to get back into the gym but I find myself coming up with the stupidest excuses.

Tonight, my excuse was “The weather is too bad - it’s pissing it down, so I’d better go home and keep dry.”

Because all the treadmills aren’t in a nice warm dry enclosed space, but they’re all actually outside in the weather where I’m going to be running along listening to my iPod getting totally soaked to the bone.

Bollocks. I am officially kicking my own arse.

Hmmm… Silence

Thursday, August 9th, 2007 | Uncategorized | No Comments

So… I’m breaking my long held silence with a post about absolutly nothing. I’m going to dedicate this post to my near-terminal case of writers block, with a special call out to all of those really unblogworthy days that have just kinda drifted by. They drifted by with no redeeming features, so that I really have to wonder if they really happened at all. Perhaps I just dreamed last week?

My days have been so entirely devoid of anything exciting that I’ve gone about singing Christmas Carols just so that I’ll irritate somebody enough that they will physically punch me out because IT’S SO NOT CHRISTMAS YET.

This year has gone by so damn fast. I now have under 5 months to try and shape up and get some of last years “New Years Resolutions” in order. The years seem to be going past in a total blur:
‘Deck the Halls with boughs of Holy shit the year goes fast… Here’s to Auld Lang Syne - I really have to resist those easter eggs and then its Happy Birthday to Me for the ten millionth time… and then Santa bloody Clause is coming to town AGAIN!

SOD OFF SANTA. Just chill your heels for a few more months old man cuz this year has been way too short. Somebody shortchanged me, and I swear to god that May didn’t exist. My calendar had a misprint. It went straight from February 28th to July 1st.

What has also happened in the blur of days is that I’ve totally lost track of a few of my pals. I know one of them is landing at an airport nearby in the next few days, one of them moved to the Gold Coast, and two of them almost broke up but didn’t and now everythings fine AND I MISSED THE WHOLE THING!

Shit. I dont want to sound selfish but if you’re going to have a major relationship crisis at least tell somebody about it. It’s like the sound that a tree makes if it falls down in the middle of a forest. You’re not totally sure it made a sound. It may have just been a wee bit tired and decided to have a nap. (AND ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES! -ahem-)

Ok. So, enough of this blogging about nothing as it’s now starting to affect my sanity.

I’ll most likely post again in another few months when I’ll be complaining about my bad back and the bad food in the retirement home that I’ve just moved into.

Clarification

Friday, June 29th, 2007 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Just to clarify the prevoius post - No, I’m not going to start reproducing any time soon. That’s a little disaster I plan to have when the world is least expecting it. No frog-spawn.

I mean, how can I possibly have children when they’re going to be referred to as spawn? No. It just wont do. I’m going to have to think of some other witty name for child o’ mine before it arrives on the planet. Beazul-Bub? Has potential. Let me work on that name for a few more years.

No, the whole “jump in with two feet” bullshit was about my ambitions to finish my career as a CEO, rather than Chief Associate Bottle Washer. Why should I get some other mug to pile shit on me, when I’m quite capable of doing it myself?

I’m working on a prototype of something that will take over the world…. Well, perhaps not the world, but maybe something that will keep me entertained long enough to find financial value. A hobby is fine - but if the hobby is going to make me money then I’m a little bit more interested!

Dont die wondering

Thursday, June 28th, 2007 | Good Days, Idiocy, Insanity, Work | No Comments

I’ve spoken before about the personality traits that run through my family. When my mother and father look at me, they dont have to ponder at length on where I get my tenacity, stubborness and smart mouth from. Along with these traits, my rather generous genes have provided me with fair skin (carcinoma, thank you so very bloody much), blue eyes (glaucoma) and strong healthy bones (read: heavy frame and fat ass). I cant wait to have children so I can pass all of this hereditary bullshit on to another generation!

In any case, of all of my brothers and sisters, I am one of the few who hasn’t jumped in with both feet. Am I ready for the plunge?

Ahhh, bugger it! I’ll let you know what the water is like.

Dont die wondering.

Excuses

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 | Good Days | No Comments

As many of you know, I am constantly fighting with my weight. It’s a genetic thing, one that I inherited from my Nana on my Dad’s side.

Nana Ruby told me the story of how her and my Papa met. Her and her sister were all dolled up, crisply pressed and set to stun. My Papa spied these two phillies across the dance hall and told his friend - “Ok mate, you take the tall blond good looking one, and I’ll take the chubby one.” I dont need to detail what happened then, because Nana and Papa Doyle spawned a generation of chubby smartarses. The world hasn’t been the same since.

Recently, I went on the Tony Furguson diet and had a moderate amount of success. At my best, I’d lost 14kgs, which for me was amazing. Since then, I’ve been on holidays, partied quite hard, and undone a lot of my hard work. My arse, that I strived so hard to lose - found me again. I’ve slipped a little bit which means its now time to go back onto the low-carb thing once more.

No spuds, no pasta, no rice, no crusty fresh bread - NO ARSE!

So this is my reward scale - with little goals along the way:

1kg - new nail polish
2kg - Bag of really nice coffee beans
3kg - Breakfast at David’s off Oxford
4kg - Magazine subscription
5kg - New set of gym clothes
6kg - New Perfume
7kg - Pedicure
8kg - Massage!

So, at the end of that I will be fabulous, minus the caboose. I will also be broke, but hey… life is more than a bank balance!