X Factor

Sunday, November 7th, 2004 | Insanity | No Comments

I’m not entirely convinced that I should be sharing this fact with the world.

I am totally obsessed with the ITV program “X Factor”. Hook, line and sinker. I’ve joined the pop-culture marketting frenzy, and tuned into the latest ‘reality’ tv offering.

I cant get enough of Sharon Osbourne’s ‘fabulous’ snide remarks to Simon Cowell, and the artists are pretty good, too.

I cant get enough of Steve, or Tabby, or darling little Cassie. But the standout performer really is Rowetta. She’s totally stark raving mad. From week to week, it’s difficult to prodict what insanity she’ll get up to.

“I’m through, arent’ I!?”

But whatever your opinion of the latest edition to ‘talent search tv’, you simply have to sit back and marvel at the advances in Marketting.

This show is so targetted at the young, hip, funky, old, and families so well that there’s really nobody who WONT sit down and happily watch this steaming pile of Reality Trash.

It’s so big, that it’s already spawed 3 ‘Behind the scenes’ shows for ITV. And the list is growing. There’ll be a national tour, there’s already an online ’shop’ and I dont dought that you’ll be able to buy ringtones and phone wallpaper in the near future….

I wonder how much Nokia payed for the exclusive rights?

Currently Reading - Fast Food Nation

Friday, November 5th, 2004 | Reading | No Comments

Scary narative about what McDonalds has done for the American society. Quite frankly, I’ll never eat another Big Mac!

I love Fridays

Friday, November 5th, 2004 | Work | No Comments

I love Fridays. I really really do.

I must appologise to Nat, Shan, Matty and Cath. I know I’m slack. I’m arse at replying to emails or writing letters. Craptastic, even.

But, I thought I’d just drop a note to let you all know that I love Fridays. Particularly, I love this friday. Friday 5th November. Guy Fawkes Day.

For all of those of you not in the ‘know’, Guy Fawkes was a pretty messed up dude. He was all anti-establishment, and as punk-rocker as a guy can be in the 1600’s. He hated politicians - dude - and totally despised organised religion. He was an Anarchist. He tried to blow up the Houses of Parliarment in Westminster on this day in 1605.

And failed.

Badly.

His pathetic arsenal of explosives did little more than explode in a puff of smoke, which sadly, did nothing towards eradicating the world of its politicians, and more to do with burning a hole in the neatly manicured lawn.

So that’s the reason why millions of Poms set off a buttload of fireworks on the 5th of November. To celebrate, or mourn, the failed attempt at Revolution and Anarchy in the 1600’s.

To Guy Fawkes.
I shall burn through a wad of fireworks in your honour.
You punk rocker, you.

Gyming

Thursday, October 21st, 2004 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I’ve become a bit of a gym junkie.

Over the past few months, I’ve been a regular at the Wrexham Gym. I do the cross-trainer, I run jog hobble on the treadmill, I splash about in the lovely swimming pool, then chill out in the lovely-bubbly hydrotherapy pool.

However, being the geek that I am, I cant seem to leave technology behind me. When I run, I run with a biometric telemetry strap that picks up my heartrate and tells me just how unfit I am. There’s an automatically adjusting workout program that will give me my own customised jogging circuit, based upon my weight, height, age, and heartrate. When I’m doing anything besides swimming, I’m listening into my playlist with my wearable MP3 player which I can use to tune into the TV shows that are being displayed on the handful of massive TV screens. It’s all very heavenly for a child of the digital age.

Of course, it’d be quite impossible to drag all that technology into a swimming pool without reducing the electronics to a pile of useless, erm, electronics.

Which is possibly why I like swimming the best. That, and the simple reason that it’s something that I can do better than Beloved. Sure, there’s always an advantage in posessing the ability to run, and throw, and catch… but all of that wont help you a bit if you’re in a swimming pool.

I wonder if there’s a way I can waterproof my MP3 player?

Dear Mum.

Friday, October 1st, 2004 | Uncategorized | No Comments

This is how you contact your mother, when she’s out touring the world and unable to pick up her mail.

Mum:

Got all your emails, but I’ve been out of the office all day so I couldn’t respond to you! Work’s been quite frantic over the past few days: as a result, I’m taking Friday off so i can go chill out at a Theme Park with Grant. Nothing like a rollercoaster to shake off any built up stress and tension.

*huge hug*
Jac xxxxx

How to Scare the Shit out of a Web Developer

Friday, September 24th, 2004 | Geeking | No Comments

“What type of encryption level is used on website.com?”

“huh?”

“En-cryp-tion”

“It is encrypted. Isn’t it?”

“Um. Not from where I’m standing”

“Oh, well, we didn’t do it that way because it would cost an extra £400″

“Pardon”

“Yeah! I know! £400!”

- - - - - - -

“This isn’t encrypted! WHY isn’t this encrypted!”

“What’s not encrypted?”

“This transaction! All this stuff, its free-floating!”

“Well, it’s not that bad, is it?”

*nervous laugh*
“Not at all”

- - - - - - - -

“Dude. You’re a techy. Please tell me why this isn’t encrypted!”

“I highlighted this problem almost 7 months ago, but, alas, nobody listens to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nobody listens. At all. I say something and they dont listen. I told them.”

*nervous laugh*
“So, it’s totally unencrypted?”

“I told them that. But they didn’t listen.”

“Oh. Shit.”