Totally Lost.

Um. It’s very difficult to know what to write here. I’d almost say its impossible, but for the fact that I’m actually writing something now.

Of course, what I’m writing now has nothing to do with the point of this blog entry, and more to do with the fact that I dont know how to say what I’m thinking.

Dontcha hate it when that happens? Whenever I have something really important to say I seem to get all tongue tied, or as in this case, I start babbling on like a fool.

It seems to happen to me frequenly, but not, for example, when somebody asks me:
“Do you want this?”

As, history will tell, I said one word. Just the one, and it was “Yes”.

No babbling at all. Which is cool. But I still really haven’t got to the point of this blog entry. My point, which I will get to eventually, means quite a lot to me. Has meant a lot for quite a while. But, nobody knew that.

Not a soul.

Which is really quite surprising, considering the amount of mindless chatter I come out with. But, nobody knew. Not even the person who I most wanted to tell.

But, without naming names (as this is the internet, you understand. I dont want freaky stalker people tracking me down to throw tomatos at me…) and without totally losing my mind, I’ll finally get to the whole idea behind this entry.

I love you.

Not you. Him. The one who I know will be reading this with a smile. The one I cant wait to see again. 5 days? Forever.

It scares me to death. It makes me smile when I want to cry. It makes my head spin. I’ve never felt like this before, so I dont really know what to compare it to.

Like finally making sense of something I never understood. Its like bungy jumping. Like driving fast, or scuba diving. It’s like putting the last piece into a jig saw. It’s like I’ve found something I never really knew I’d lost.

Big ‘Sorry’ to all those out there in cyberspace. I guess I should have said something before, but I never did. But I’ll tell you all now.

I’m in love and I dont care who knows it.

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2 Responses

  1. Cath says:

    I am so absolutely, positively, completely overjoyed for you!

    We desperatly need to have an engineering girl conference very soon.

    Miss you heaps,
    Cath

  2. Jac says:

    We def. need an Engineering Girl Team Meeting!!!

    Miss you heaps and heaps!!!
    *huge hug*
    Jac

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