Now, I’m sure everybody has met at least one person during their lives when it feels like you’re skin is trying to crawl away on its own accord. Each time they look at you, you just want to go and clean yourself… and each time they speak to you, you wish you were bold enough to punch them square in the mouth.
But what, exactly, defines a sleaze?
Is it their own attitudes toward you, or does your own attitude have an effect? What is it about them, that makes you feel like you’re drowning in an oil slick just by being near them?
MissC and I wondered out loud, what it was that could possibly cause such a profound psychological effect, the instant that you meet somebody. How is it, that our subconscious can judge a person within three milliseconds after meeting them for the very first time? Could it be that it has something to do with their aura’s? or perhaps past lives? What about Extra Sensory Perception?
I would probably try to stick to more generally accepted ideas, such as percieved intent, and personal situation. Where the person’s eyes rest, is also a big factor.
For instance, when Mr Yellow comes up to me, smacks me on the ass and wraps his arms around me, asking if he can sleep in my bed with me, I have the following reaction:
* Ruffle Mr Yellow’s Hair
* Tell him “Sure Babycakes!”
* Give him a big loud smooch on the cheek,
* Disentangle myself, and continue with the conversation as if nothing had happened…
However, if Mr Green walked up to me, and said something bland and innocent like:
“Hi Jacqui! How are you going on your ~assignment~?”
My shoulders instantly clench, my hackles rise. Its like somebody has beaten me over the head with a mouldy chunk of flesh, as I have to fight not to make obscene facial expressions, and I’m often caught making stupid excuses like…
“Oooh, Um, y’know, I think I forgot my floppy disk…”
And I make a sonic boom as I break the Land Speed record, fleeing the scene.
I’m not talking about personal hygene, as I know some very very grubby genuine people, while also knowing alot of well bread, highly groomed sleazes. For me, personally, Kevin Bacon is probably the poster-boy for well groomed sleaziness, while Smudgy is probably the grottiest person I know, and yet, he’s the very opposite of sleaze.
Nor is sleazyness specifically related to the little smile, and the roving eyes. While on some people (say… Dominic Monaghan, and Heath Ledger) it looks adorable, cheeky and oh-so-sexy, on the Sleaze it is both repulsive, and frightening. It causes what is locally known as the “SAVE ME! Glance” between individuals that is a clear request to be aided in conversation termination.
Nor is it the the lingering touch thoughout a conversation. Whenever Sleazoid contact is made, it triggers an unnatrual desire to go and disinfect the contaminated area with vast quantities of soap and water, whereas, contact with any other human being is seen as either affection, or body language – just a natural form of communication.
I dont understand it.
Is it a sunconscious primal reaction to those with a certain incompatible gene? Or is it simply due to our own perception of others? I’d challenge anybody to come up with a defining list of personal traits that define a sleazeoid. Or even a well documented list on who is sleazy, and what makes them so.
Jacqui… pondering the Sleaze.