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September 18, 2003
Meltdown
After a total break down on Sunday, I think things are beginning to get back to normal.
It's hard to be happy when you're sitting on the dusty floor between two carriages of a Virgin-Rail train. It's even harder when you realise that the speeding engine is pulling you away from the only thing that makes you happy. With no seats available, I was forced to sit on the floor, along with empty McDonalds bags and coke cans. With the rubbish. Getting pulled away from Beloved at 100 miles an hour.
That's when I crumbled.
I was at the stage where I was hoping that somebody would push me, just so I could release hell from my heart. I wanted my boss to give me shit, so I could spit it back at him. I wanted to quit. I wanted to run away. I wanted to cry.
So I cried. But I haven't quit and I haven't run away. I'm still here at work, hacking on the servers, longing to be in Wales.
Long distance hurts.
He'll be here tomorrow.
I think I can survive 24 hours without falling apart.
Posted by Jacqui at September 18, 2003 01:04 PM
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