I answer phones as part of my job.

Our company phone number was once used as a British Gas contract/emergency number, but they changed over to a different system about 8 years ago. That doesn't seem to have any affect on the number of calls we get per day, asking for somebody to come out to fix boilers, or ovens.

I've got the whole shpiel on auto-pilot at the moment, so that whenever anybody calls up, I can switch off the brain and relate the whole story.

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong number. This is Company Name and we deal with high speed internet connections. British Gas changed their phone number about 8 years ago. I believe you can find their new contact details in the phone directory."

This message, straight forward and informative, seems to be a good test for sorting out the different personality types that live on this overpopulated island. From their first words, I can tell what type of phone call it's going to be.

"You're who? No, I want British Gas."
This is when I cringe. This phone call is usually hampered by a significant language barrier.
"ME NOT GAS" seems to get my point across.

"Oh, thank you. Sorry to bother."
Not a problem. Pleasure to speak to you.
These rounded polished accents are always so appologetic. The true upper crust, stiff upper lip and all that nonsence. Still... I much prefer these calls....

"Can you fix my boiler?"
Not unless you want ADSL installed with it. I speak very clearly, but it seems some people dont want to listen anyway.

"Oh, so you cant fix my oven?"
That's right, but I'm sure I could break it a little more.
These calls are usually a bit of a laugh. The caller sometimes goes on to ask a little bit more about our company and what we do. I'm not sure if we've ever sold anything to a wrong number caller.

"Bloody BG. They're shitheads!"
Agreed! Can I hang up now, or are you going to rant on for a bit longer?
This type of phone call is usually from an irate customer from BG, who wants to vent their pent up anger and frustrations. So they unload on me. I usually cant get a word in, so I make sympathetic noises, while I put the speakerphone on mute.

I love my job, but I think British Gas need to be shot.