Today’s lesson is on personal embarrassment techniques for the socially inept.

How to be a complete dickhead.

I was only out to buy some computer supplies. Blank CD’s. Fairly common in geek shops. So, being a geek, I entered the ‘zone’ without much thought for personal presentation, grace or composure. Geeks don’t usually bother about minor details like brushing hair, or correct attire. My shirt was buttoned up all awkwardly (I got dressed in a hurry this morning) and birds had recently moved out of my hair because it was too damn messy. I had a smear of dust on my chin. My own reflection was too ashamed to show itself in public.

Of course, that’s the exact moment when I happen to meet a fellow Aussie. A fellow Aussie from Brisbane who was into Wi-Fi and has been in London for 2 years this Easter, who used to live in Newstead Farm and managed the Valley’s Mountain Designs store. Store Manager of the Geek Shop. Who just so happened to have a really really cute smile.

I had a great ol’ chat with him, standing around the shop like a prized pair of geeks. His parents live in Bundaburg, he lived mostly in Melbourne. I called him a Mexican. He called me a Bumpkin. I’ll be damned if he wasn’t the nicest guy I’ve met in ages. I’d only known him 180 seconds and I was ready to leap across the isle and hug him.

So.

What I really meant to say was: “Hey, would you like to join me for a coffee?”
but it somehow came out as: “Hey, how much are these CD’s?”

The price was written below them. In big black print. Twice.

Price check on Dickheads, Isle #4.

I bought said CD’s and walked away cringing.
Sounded like a dickhead. Looked like a swamp donkey.

Way to go, Doyle. Surpassed even your own high standards of personal embarrassment there!!!

Somebody put me out of my misery.