It still sank

Watched Titanic last night. It was aided by a bottle of white and quantities of nibblies. Now, before you get the wrong idea about me, I only watched it becasue I haven't seen it in the 5 years since I saw it at the Cinema - I was curious to know how it had degraded over time.

Those special effects that were really good? They're now crap.

The characters which most of us liked? Well... Leo's still crap. How could some bloke really look that young?

The logistics, and the "why dont they just" factor has increased, and I know that had I have been there, i would have survived no hassles at all.

Firstly, the Titanic was designed to be 'unsinkable' if only 4 hull panels were breached. Unfortunatly for the poor bastards aboard, they breached 5 on the sideswipe of that sodding ice berg. If they had've hit the thing nose first, well.. everybody'd probably be whinging about a few bruised heads, but they wouldn't have sunk. Says alot about Ice-burg air-bags, really....

Once they knew that the ship was going to go down, why didn't they set about creating rafts out of doors, beds, chairs, anything wooden?? Phhhhh. Really. I would have built myself the HMAS Doyle. Greatest ship ever to be built out of second-hand wood planks.

(cue blatant nationalistic predjudice)
And really. If the crowd had've been Australian, they would have built the raft and saved the brandy. I dont know too many aussies who didn't weep at the loss of such fine alcohol. Lots of wood lashed together would have stayed afloat for hours and hours. Enough time to get significantly pissed, and greet the rescue party with bawdy versions of "My heart will go on...."