Warning: Any Librarians, or people related to Librarians, or anybody who knows a Librarian personally, or anybody who's considered becoming a Librarian must stop reading now.

Where do they find those wankers?

Statistically, it would be impossible to find 5 people who all qualify as Thoroughbred Fuckwits. However, if the employers of the USQ library are anything to go by, the human race is doomed.

100% Fuckwittage factor.

The story starts when I approach the inappropriatly named "Help Desk" to ask how I put credit on my print quota with the new fandangled Smart Cards that the University has been issuing since the middle of last year. As it stood, I had $0.30 on my card, which would definatly not cover printing off a 100 page LaTeX help document that I needed.

I was greeted by a middle-aged guy who ranked pretty high on the Sleaze Scale, who then told me that I could put credit on my Smart Card by a vending machine looking thing that was hidden behind the wall beside the photocopying room. Lovely. I toddle off in the direction that he points out.

So, seeing as I'm in my final year, I figure I'll need a hefty print quota to survive the rest of the year. I have thesis's (thesii?), Lecture Notes, Assignments and other Miscellanious Stuff to print off throughout the year... So, I spill out all the shrapnel thats been lugged around in my wallet, and whack it all into this vending machine.
The final total was $27.80 - A very hefty print quota, which would make any geek proud. I could already smell the ozone of the printers....

So then, I head back to the "Help Desk"

I greet the same Pseudo-Sleaze with a winning smile.
"Okeydoke! So, now the credit is on my card, how do I get that credit onto my Print Quota?"

Mr Librarian simply looks at me with big round hollow looking eyes.
"Oh... Well... you see, you just CANT."

*blink*

"Excuse me?"

"Well... you see, ITS doesn't have the right card reader yet."

*sigh*

"Ok, well, do you know when they will have the card reader available, as I really need some credit on my Print Quota! I need to print off some notes."

"Oh... well... we dont know... It could be the beginning of next year...there's no time frame, you see? "

NO I DONT FUCKING SEE!
"So, you're telling me that there's no way for me to increase my print quota?"

"Yes. Thats right."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. Well. You see, you can still do it with the old cards, but not with the new ones."

He then continued to fuss about, asking everybody else on the desk with him if they knew anything about the new card reader... No Luck. 100% Fuckwittage.
They've just remodeled the Library, and so, I think in the relocation these idiots must have got mistaken. They were plainly sitting at the help desk when, perhaps, they should have labled it Painfully Unhelpful Desk.

So now, I have a Smart Card thats useless, and now worth $27.80, and yet another Old Card that cost me $2, that has no value, and my Print Quota is still $0.30....